Friday, July 07, 2006


My Summer Vacation .... or ... What have I Done

No I didn't die ..... to busy .... not really correct either (although I have been swamped at work) ..... nothing to write about nope ........ my excuse for being absent for a month .......ready for this??? ......... Just out there living life!!!! So I took a hiatus. And now I'm going to write again. I might write a bit then take another hiatus, just never know. Now to summarize my summer up to now.

The last entry was trying to suprise the woman in my life. How do you surprise someone with activities for the 4th of July? Do them a day early! I came up with a great day planned for the 4th with the big highlight being dinner at a new restaurant with a fantastic view of the city. Well I couldn't get reservations for the 4th, so being adaptable I made em for the 3rd and changed a few other things around. First I took the day off (she was impressed with that all by itself), then decided on some tourist activities (every play tourist in your hometown ..... sort of novel), then dinner at the afore mentioned restaurant, followed by a romantic stroll (to walk off the big dinner), and finally maybe some private moments.

The evening went great the view was incredible ...... a sunset 750 feet off the ground is spectacular, the food was greatwith the most attentive service I've experienced in some time, the romantic stroll was good (a little hot ..... south central Texas gets that way in July), and the company and conversation that night was memorable. The more I find out about this woman the more impressed I become.

The interesting hitch to the evening was the elevator ride up to the restaurant. We and 7 other people, got in the elevator for the asent, and one of the two employees on the elevator, operating the elevator said we haven't gone up with this many people before but we'll give it a try. Ha Ha nice joke. "Once we get going it will be fine." Fine?!?!? .... 11 people might exceed the capacity? Heck I'll wait for the next car. But they closed the door and pushed the lever forward ...... nothing happened. "Open the doors real quick and try it again." They do and still nothing. Really I'll wait for the next car. "Okay maybe if we jump up and down a bit it will get started." They do and this time the elevator starts moving, a little jerky at first but then evened out after about 5 long seconds. Not the best start to a romantic evening. It's hard to be romantic when you're sweating bullets and your date has a paniced look. At the end of the evening that elevator was out of service and we had to walk up a level to take another one down. Guess the jumping up and down routine didn't always work.

The tail end of the month she took her kids on a trip to see relatives in Missouri and I took my daughter to the beach. We saw the sights at the beach ..... some great ones like dolpins jumping in the bow wake of a tanker ..... and not so great ones like the woman on the beach, in a bikini who shouldn't have chosen to wear a bikini, because when she turned around to walk away, the bottom of the bikini got hidden in some folds of skin. Not a good image.

Just this past week was a birthday for the woman in my life. What did I do for her birthday? We'll maybe that should wait for another entry.

Monday, June 26, 2006


I Tip my Hat toThe Keeper of The Stars

A couple of more dates and lunches and lots of conversations on the phone. So far, only two small misunderstandings, which were quickly sorted out, lots of laughter, and finding more and more opportunities to see each other. She had said early on in the relationship that she enjoyed being with me but because of a past relationship she was at least partially "waiting for the other shoe to drop." I told her that I had already told her my fatal flaws and there were no other personallity suprises, and that I would strive to prove that to her. So my little mind has been busy cooking up ways to show her how much she means to me. The easy answer has been flowers .... lots and lots of flowers. Sometimes I send them and sometimes I bring them with me. And then sometimes I show up with them when she's not even expecting me. That was today's little suprise. I showed up this morning with flowers and a kiss in between jobs. I only had a few minutes and I was talking to her on the phone when I pulled into her driveway and told her to open the door. I wish I would have had a camera to catch the total look of suprise on her face. Flowers ...... $8.37, Gas ........ $2.62, Extra time out of the work day ..... 20 minutes, the look on her face ...... to use a recently common phrase "Priceless".
She has a great voice and has sung to me a few times and has allowed me to hear her sing in a quartet at her church. I can NOT in any way sing, although I've tried one or two songs .... privately which, were so poorly done we both just ended up laughing. Music is so important to her I just had to cook up something musical. So I decided to make her a cd of songs. I picked 20 songs out of hundreds ..... I spent days adding and deleting and finally came up with 20 songs. They were:
1. A Kiss to Build a Dream On
2. When Boy Meets Girl
3. Wave on Wave
4. She's Every Woman
5. Powerful Stuff
6. Come Rain or Come Shine
7. Crazy
8. Gimme all Your Lovin
9. For Your Love
10. What a Wonderful Life
11. Gravitational Pull
12. Keep on The Sunny Side
13. Bring on The Night
14. When I'm Sixty Four
15. In This Life
16. Cowboys and Angels
17. Pride and Joy
18. I'm Not Gonna Do Anything Without You
19. Keeper of the Stars
20. Live This Life
Then I got a card and put the disc inside. The title I put on the cd ....... "Songs I Wish I Could Sing To You". I gave her the cd as I was leaving after lunch one day. She's played that cd so much I may have to make a duplicate, I've heard it several times in the background when I've called her. She has told me several times how much she enjoys it and hears me in every song (God I hope I sound better than I do in person ....... ). The best part of this is I enjoy seeing her face light up, and occassionaly, I can even leave her speechless. It's those times that are really special.
There's not much more to say I'm head over heels in love with her. Now I just have to cook up something for the 4th. Think ...... Think .......Think .....................

Sunday, June 04, 2006



Okay ... She's given me the kiss (to build a dream on), and I'm happier than I've been in a very long time. We managed to go out 3 nights in a row this week. Absolutely the best time. What did we do? Aside from a trip to Fredericksburg not all that much, in fact dinner Friday night was terrible (I even got sick) but every evening was absolutely unbelievable. Saturday we did drive up to Fredericksburg for the day. Had a light picnic lunch at a road side park, poked around Main Street shops (The only thing we bought was some snowmen with our names and the names of our kids on them, and I almost bought her a blouse she liked but they didn't have her size.) , watched a bride walk down the aisle at an outdoor wedding, and then had a great dinner at a German Restaurant. The big thing we got to spend alot of time together talking, laughing, being a couple, it was nice just to do nothing with such a great woman. I did my best to be a gentleman, open door, walk down the street next to the curb, even had the opportunity to choose a beer for her at dinner (at her request). She noticed and appreciated everything. What did escape her were the people looking at her (us???). I got several (mostly older women) pointing in our direction and saying something to someone else. I did see a couple of women poke their husbands (?) in the ribs and point in our direction and comment. When I mentioned this she told me I was imagining things. I assurred her I was not and that she .... we .... had been noticed. She still thinks I'm imagining things. I've assured her I am not imagining things and it was her and her mannerisms that were noticed. I got a couple of pictures of her (she is not happy with that) , and think they really capture her beauty. I have promised that they will not be made public, or be subject to severe consequences. It doesn't mean I won't display em privately. There have been some serious discussions and there is some past baggage to deal with but we are committed to working through all that. There were such long odds that we would ever even go out once, that we both now recognize that there is a special connection between us. (Sweetheart I ask no more than this a kiss to build a dream on. Hmmmm Give me a kiss before you leave me and my imagination will feed my hungry heart. .... Give me your lips for just a moment and my imaginination will make that momment live.)

Thursday, May 18, 2006


One Small Step Part II

I got the signal for my cell phone and called the office, explained to my boss that I was driving myself to the minor emergency clinic. He said he would meet me half way and drive me there himself. I told him it wasn't necessary but he insisted (I think there was a slight case of the guilts for some reason). I drove about 30 minutes more and meet him at the designated location. Another employee came along to drive the company truck back and we went to the minor emergency clinic.
Naturally the place was packed and since I was not bleeding I got to wait .... and wait ..... and then wait some more. By this time my ankle has swollen so bad it has balloned over my boot (yes the boot was still on - laces had been loosened - and by now it was throbbing to beat the band .... I was sure we were gonna cut that puppy off). After a two hour wait I got in for x- rays and to see a doctor. His assessment "Well I don't see a break on the x-ray but there is significant ligement damage and we need an MRI and you should see a specialist. Here is a perscription for pain. Go home keep your foot elevated and we'll arrange an MRI for you and set up an appointment with the specialist.
Well that's what my foot / ankle looked like the next day. After a few more days the toe nails were completely purple and the bruising encircled my ankle. It would ultimately get worse as the MRI was misread originally and the broken bone and ripped ligements were not found until the second MRI was done six ..... yep SIX months later.
After surgery (got a new specialist), 8 weeks in a non-bearing cast, then 6 weeks in a walking cast, and another 4 weeks in a surgical shoe, loads and loads of therapy. I got it back to the point of where it was only a SLIGHT annoyance and I learned to deal with the daily discomfort.
After 2 years I've resumed all the activities I did before I tore up this ankle. I run on it regularly and it sometimes is somewhat painful (I now can tell when foul weather is on the way), I have learned it is mind over matter. I've been approached by a few lawyers wanting to file a lawsuit for me but it never seemed right even though there were a few mistakes made by the doctors, because the real cause of all this is that I choose to take that small step (jump) in the first place.

Now with regards to my social life, we speak to each other nearly every night. I continue to learn more and more about this woman. The conversations continue to come easily. She has an infectious laugh and I find myself smiling and laughing with her no matter what has happened during the day. She is the breath of fresh air my life needed. We went to see a local production of Nunsence a few weeks ago and I couldn't have imagined a more enjoyable evening. But then it may have had alot to do with the company. It was a dinner theater so the evening started with a buffet dinner then the play in a very small venue. As this was a hold over weekend the crowd was small and the cast took the opportunity to engage the audience. We both were laughing constantly. Afterwards we went to the grocery store to pick up some beer to drink at her house and ended up laughing more at some of the goings on we saw at the store. We sat and talked until well past midnight. It was simply a great time. I hoping I've found the right path to her heart as she has found the right one to mine. ("Give me a kiss to build a dream on and my imagination will make that momment live. Give me what you alone can give a kiss to build a dream on.")

Sunday, May 14, 2006


Two Women in my Life

I had no intention of posting this but my brain feels like it will explode and I've had just enough alcohol to drive me to post. This is the first Mother's day since my Mom's death. My intention was to just let it slid by. But my family had a completely different idea. My Father insisted on going out to eat for Mother's Day at one of my Mom's favorite restaurant, where they know a lot of the wait staff. When my Mom was alive we never did this, and now my Dad was insisting on doing it and my sister was supporting the idea. My brother was his usual non-committal self and I was the only vocal opposition. Ultimately I relented to keep some sort of peace. I did decline the invitation to the cemetery today and in so doing placed myself on the insensitive list. (Read into that the worthless, ingrate, heartless son list ..... but in my defense that is not the place I wanted to be today). Dinner was to say the very least tense and forced, I couldn't leave soon enough. I got home and reflected on the day. I woke up this morning and laid in bed recalling (revealing in??) every moment about my date last night. The pizza, the less than interesting movie, the kissing on the couch, and the conversations. This is a woman that I so much want to build a lasting relationship with. I just hope that I can find the right path to her heart. Then I talked with Bennu about things going on in her life. She fused a little at me for keeping her on the phone for nearly an hour but I pointed out to her that I was merely letting her talk about difficult things without the added stress of me being in the same room with her. After a bit I went to Bennu's on the premise of installing a shower head .... something she likely could have done herself, but she wanted company and more importantly she wanted to get my mind off the day today. She allowed me time to work out some emotions about today and cooked a fantastic lunch for me. I doubt she recognizes how much she helped me through this day. Yes she has some issues of her own and we talked and I offered my opinions, but even with all that is going on in her life she thought to help me today. That is a true friend. Leaving her house I went home to cleaned up and went to a dinner with people (my family) I really didn't want to be with at the moment. On the way home I called last night's date to wish her a Happy Mother's Day. She had company leaving and we spoke for just a minute. I told her I would call her this evening before Grey's Anatomy. A few minutes later she called me back to make sure I was okay as she could tell something in my voice was not right. I told her today was a little tough and I still had a difficult task to finish up. She told me that she was available to talk if I wanted. I thanked her and told her that just speaking with her had made me feel a little better. ( Speaking with her is like having the sun shine on your face ..... she's just that positive). I went to eat and it was a difficult dinner for me. Which was pretty much what I expected. More emotion than I wanted to cope with and a full dose of guilt. Then I came home filled out a job application and then called last night's date. Just to talk briefly and hear the joy in her voice. It immediately brought a smile to my face and helped let go of a lot of the stress of the day away. As I reflect on today can't say that this was a great day but two women in my life went out of their way to help me through it. For that I'm thankful and hope that I can find a way to let them both know how they got me though today. While not everything is good in my life I have two women in my life who make life so much better. I know I am blessed.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006


One Small Step

This ladies and gentlemen is my 50th post. In honor of that I am returning to the premis that I started this blog with. To make the 50th post a little more memorable I am including photos, which just so you know is way more involved than I normally attempt.

These are pictures of some property I went to look at a few years ago (central Texas). As you can tell it was pretty hilly with some great views. The first picture is of a dry creek bed that was on the property. The next is a picture along one of the property boundaries and the third one is from the highest vantage of the property. All it took was one small step and the whole day changed dramatically. So now here is the story.

The assignment, go to an undeveloped tract of land in a remote part of central Texas and evaluate the property for recognized environmental concerns. In other words look for burn pits, trash dumps, water wells, oil wells etc….. I bet ya’ll never guessed that an undeveloped piece of property could be environmentally impacted. The directions to the acreage were to say the least interesting. Drive out a State Highway, turn on to a Farm to Market Road, follow that road until it ended at a gravel drive and the Volunteer Fire Department, travel down the gravel drive go through 2 gates with cattle guards, and then turn into the fourth gate on the right with a dirt road and go a quarter mile to a gap in the fence on the left (for the uninitiated, a gap is a gate made of barb wire with two fence posts on either end that is wired in place). Well with just one or two wrong turns (turns out there were actually 3 gates on the gravel road), I found the property, 98 acres of Texas Hill Country land. There was only one unpaved road that went into the property for about a quarter mile stopping at a hunting camp trailer. I got out of the truck and started “walking” the property. There was considerable elevation change as I followed the fence line to the northern most portion of the property.

After spending several hours following deer trails, fence lines and hints of paths I had found nothing of environmental concern. During the day I had walked up on some deer, saw a few snakes, several red tailed hawks and assorted small animals. My remaining task was to follow a dry creek bed looking for geologic recharge features. As I followed the creek I jumped down the back to look at something that had caught my eye. My feet had no sooner left the ground that I realized I had made a huge error. My right foot hit the lose rocks first and buckled completely, my ankle rolled outward with the bone at the top of the ankle striking the ground. As the rest of my body followed I felt ligaments stretch beyond their limits, my vision got very narrow and I nearly blacked out from the pain. I willed my self to stay conscious. As I tried to pick myself up off the ground I realized I had at the least sprained my ankle, I leaned against a log and pulled myself together. My first thought was to call the office; I reached for my cell phone and realized I did not have a signal. Well that pretty much answered the question of what to do next, I was either walking back to the truck or I was going to lay there for a VERY LONG time. The truck was to the west southwest of where I was about a quarter of a mile away. I checked the laces of my boot to make sure they were still well tied my ankle was swelling and throbbing. I checked my map to be sure of where I was and where the truck was (the last thing I wanted to do was head off in the wrong direction) and started a slow long walk back. Each step was an exercise in mind over matter to ignore the pain. By the time I was back at the truck my ankle was so swollen the laces on my boot were stretched to the limit. I pulled myself into the driver’s seat thankful that I had the company truck and not my personal truck which at that time was a standard transmission. Checked the cell phone still no signal (not that it would have done any good but I would have felt better). I drove to the gap got out opened the gap drug it out of the way, drove the truck through and got back out to close the gap, and started retracing my steps back. At each gate I had to get out of the truck, open the gate, drive through, go back and close the gate, get back in the truck and continue on. By the time I got to the Volunteer Fire Station I was in a tremendous amount of pain. As I had noted earlier the VFD was still locked up tight. There was nothing left to do but keep driving. I was driving with my left foot and had propped my right up as high as possible to try to reducing the swelling. I was almost to the State Highway when I finally got a signal.

To be Continued .....

A note to all .... I'm in a better frame of mind now. Sleep and a good conversation do wonders. Am I still wondering what to do in this new relationship ... in a word YES, but I'm trying to relax and be patient. Why the sudden change, a friend pointed out to me where I was headed and she pointed out to me that I was acting like a complete idiot. She also shared a little inside information (very little ... but something). So now I'll TRY to relax and plan the next date. I'm thinking a dinner theather with a comedy play. "Give me what you alone can give. A kiss to build a dream on."

Sunday, April 30, 2006


And Now?????!!!??

We had a great first date. A second date then followed, not the memorable date I had hoped to create but it was a great time, a movie then a light snack at a Greek restaurant with a couple of beers. Great conversation, I learned so much more about this woman. And now I'm sort of at a loss. I'd like to go out again, she says she would also, but has young children and may not have a free weekend for 2 to 3 weeks ( did know about the children going into this). Is that just a way of brushing me off easily ..... did I do something ...... say something ...... ????? I'm confused and full of self doubt. Bennu tells me to take it slow ..... that's the way this woman wants to proceed if at all. How slow is slow?? I think that is what I'm doing. Be patient Bennu says (go back a post or two and see how I am with patience) ..... I'm trying, I doubt anyone recognizes how I'm trying. Maybe I should try less. Maybe I need to try more. Maybe I've already fouled it up. I hate this feeling. I'd like a meaningful relationship with this woman. I really like her. She is a unique, interesting, genuine, and honest person, not to mention attractive, funny, and engaging. I would just like to have a clue about what I should do.
I do know what thing dating is streesful.

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